Sometimes I Get Distracted (or Five Reasons Why I Suck at Maintaining a Blog)

It is very easy for the average Internet lurker to see a blog, take note of the posts, and say to themselves, “I could do that.” After all, what’s a blog? It’s just a journal entry typed out, right? It’s just a recipe posted every few days. It’s just some craft that I came up with in ten minutes.

Wrong.

I am good at some things – even great, occasionally. But mostly, I am mediocre at probably the majority of tasks I set out to do. Mostly because I find everything interesting, and then I discover something else interesting, and abandon things halfway through. Not due to lack of interest; in fact, I usually lament the abandoned project with more effort than I ever put into it. I hate being that person. I hate not finishing things. I hate the idea that someone, somewhere, was waiting for me to do something. So, in order to justify this to myself, I have constructed 5 (I had 10, but lost interest halfway through. Kidding! Be amused!) halfass reasons as to why I am incapable of updating a blog with any measure of frequency. 

1.)   I like to write. A lot.

Writing is probably my favorite thing to do. It comes second to some other activities, most of those not appropriate to talk about on a blog my mom could read, but definitely nothing comes close to being as mentally engaging as I find writing. More than physically, although I do find the simple act of typing strangely cathartic, despite the topic. But writing has always been something I have truly enjoyed, even from a young age. So I write every day, and sometimes I find it hard to switch gears. Typing a story is so different from writing a blog, which is different from writing a work memo, which is different from typing up my angsty feelings after watching (500) Days of Summer. The last thing I want to do is type up blogs upon blogs of my wish to go to IKEA with a pseudo-boyfriend and find a Chinese family in our bathroom and try to pronounce strange Swedish furniture and oh no, I've done it again.

2.)   I have no life.

I know what you're thinking. "Sounds like the perfect recipe for a blog-acious blog!" Except none of you would ever use the word 'blog-acious,' mostly because I just invented it, and partly because it sucks. But in reality, not having a life isn't exactly the perfect recipe for anything, except early onset diabetes and an unhealthy addiction to Dr. Mario. (I already have one of these things, but you'll have to keep reading to find out which.) No life equals a great breeding ground for that strange bacteria that takes over your mind and makes you watch all your DVDs in alphabetical order. Also, having no life means you have nothing to update a blog about. Unless you're really interested in that DVD watching, because, p.s. I am on 'Across The Universe.' As much as I might want to write some days, it's a lot easier to think about it from your perch on the couch than to trudge over to your computer desk five feet away and actually try to create coherent sentences.

3.)   I am too interesting!

No, you read that correctly. Too interesting! Does such a thing exist? I'm on a quest to find out. For me, probably not. Okay, definitely not. I just confessed that I have no life; I doubt that comes from being 'too interesting.' Instead, I use this broad statement to launch into a tirade about how I have way too many interests, so it's hard for me to narrow down what my blog would be/is about. Where's my niche, exactly? I love pop culture, I love cooking, I love dogs way too much, I love reading, I love writing, I love music, I love crayons, I love ranting about politics I don't understand - what, pray tell, do I write about? When I figure this out, I will let you know. Until then, you will have to settle for being completely smitten with everything i write, and appreciating the fact that I am a rare pearl in an ocean full of sameness. (This is a direct quote from a previous annual review at work. More about this will inevitably be discussed at a later date.)

4.)   I write too much.

See absolutely everything written above for a better, in depth description. I can't believe you made it this far, to be honest.

5.)   I have no Internet. 

Cop out, I know. It hasn't always been this way, and it certainly won't be t his way for long, but for now - I am Internet-less at home. How I am posting this is a mystery to me, as I type this. (Turns out, my mom is good for more than just free meals and being disappointed in me.) I am unable to mooch off my neighbors, because for some reason they have passwords on their wireless (OH, THE INJUSTICES), but I do have friends that have the internet, and a mother and a sister. There is a long, disappointing story about my depressing lack of internet (but I bet this explains the whole alphabetical DVD watching a bit more, eh?) but I think that is, again, a story for another date. Or never. But needless to say, typing this out is saving my sanity, because I am starting to forget what the Netflix home screen looks like. Living by yourself with your only company being a dog that sleeps 21 hours a day is what I imagine solitary confinement is like. My iPhone is getting a work out and my data plan has seen better days, but how else would the good people of the Internet know I was alive, if I didn't update my Twitter every 5 minutes?

So there you go. A way too in depth look as to why I am incapable of maintaining a blog for more than three weeks. I can’t say that this changes anything, and I shouldn’t make promises I can’t keep, but you never know. Maybe I will suddenly become less interesting! Then a blog would be easy, right? Or maybe I’ll suddenly hate writing. Or maybe I’ll get a really busy social schedule. And maybe I’ll have a hard time writing more than a few words at a time. And maybe I’ll have too much internet! 

Then having a blog should be really easy, right?